Love is the oldest camera


Sharon Shapiro, It's not the heat, it's the humidity, 1999

KEEP UP!
-- Klipschutz

“the sports page makes the news”

A-Rod, A-Rod, A-Rod, say it isn’t isn’t so.
Cross your fingers if you have to, but Say it!
Do it with your game face on, A-Bro!

I wouldn’t know you from A-Dam
or Bam-Bam or C-Span
but I love you for your flaws,
in that fecklessly American way.
Didn’t you date the Mother of God?
Maybe she can help!

Why do people hate you
just because you’re a prick?
Whatever they throw, it won’t stick!
Unless you already admitted everything.

I wish I could help, and say so knowing
that I can’t, and don’t know the score,
except that you’re not J-Lo or K-Fed,
or A. Alvarez, or even A.A. Milne.
But I don’t mean to be unsympathetic.

To tell the truth, maybe I do.
I’ll work on that, though maybe a man with a bat
circling the bases and tipping his hat
is the only thing in the world that’s really true.

It might help to pay it forward,
and buy my book, A-God,
to give me some skin in the game!
For eighteen bones (nothing to you),
I could mount a Save The-Rod campaign.

Like the guy they buried alive said: Think outside the box.
(And when you crack my book, wear your lucky socks!)

I apologize for not having The Facts,
there’s simply too much to keep up with,
between updating my to-do list,
picking a side in Egypt,
changing my name to K-Lip,
my rematch with The ABC of Reading,
and telling the Dickman brothers apart and all.


Devotion, The Story of My Ear
-- beth woodcome

The floor is cold. Hardwood with small
noises shuttering along each plank.

When I walk I walk blindfolded.
There’s only so much I can stand at once.

I don’t live in the same world anyone else does.
I can feel you in the house. Your breath

at night is my alarm. Something that can
pull me head first, from room to room.

If I can find you living, I’ll sleep.
If I can find you, I’ll stop.