June 2, 2008

all must not be art
some art we must disintegrate

William DeBilzan, Behind the LInes

* Top ten conservative idoits. excerpt:

1. Scott McClellan's Former Friends

"Breaking news! Stop the presses! Man Who Spent Years Getting Paid To Tell Lies Stuns Nation By Telling Truth!

"Yes, former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan has a new book out, a shocking tome which contains many earth-shattering revelations, such as:

* Karl Rove is dishonest!
* The Bush Administration lied America into war!
* You know all that stuff about weapons of mass destruction? It was just propaganda!
* George W. Bush is an incurious man!
* Hurricane Katrina was handled poorly!

"Unbelieveable, isn't it?

"Of course what's interesting about McClellan's book is not necessarily what's written inside - although I did enjoy the revelation that in his youth George W. Bush attended parties so wild he couldn't remember whether he did cocaine or not - but the person who did the writing. Former White House press secretaries are usually pretty loyal types, so the Bushies must have really ticked Scotty off to get this treatment.

"Fortunately the Bush Administration conducts regular war games which are designed to prepare for exactly this kind of political disaster scenario (unlike real disaster scenarios, which they ignore) and their rapid response operation swung smoothly into action. The advance team began by suggesting that McClellan had been abducted by alien bloggers, with Ari Fleischer saying 'Scott uses the very same words that the far-left uses,' and Karl Rove adding, 'it sounds like somebody else. It sounds like a left-wing blogger.'

"Dana Perino and Dan Bartlett continued this theme but also began to add subtle personal attacks - Perino called McClellan 'disgruntled' and said, 'We are puzzled. It is sad. This is not the Scott we knew.' Meanwhile Bartlett said 'It's almost like we're witnessing an out-of-body experience. We're hearing from a completely different person we didn't have any insight into,' before adding that the book was 'total crap.'

Finally, the clean-up crew arrived to simply hurl insults at McClellan. Former Homeland Security Advisor Fran Townsend announced that McClellan was, 'self-serving, disingenuous and unprofessional,' and Bob Dole mopped up by calling him a 'miserable creature' and said 'your type soaks up the benefits of power, revels in the limelight for years, then quits, and spurred on by greed, cashes in with a scathing critique.'

"So as you can see, McClellan is definitely telling the truth."

* Silver Jews perform What Is Not But Could Be If in London (from May 29, 2008).

* "The camera introduces us to unconscious optics as does psychoanalysis to unconscious impulses." -- Walter Benjamin


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