August 13, 2007

Nighttime's the right time to pull all the dimes from your pocket

Jordan Bennett, Organic Market, Maine

* Top ten conservative idiots. excerpt:

7. Glenn Murphy

"The latest Republican to come tumbling out of the closet is Glenn Murphy, chairman of the Clark County Republican Party and president of the Young Republican National Federation. Murphy quit both those jobs last week - not because he's gay, but because police are investigating him for 'criminal deviate conduct - potentially a class B felony - after speaking with a 22-year-old man who claimed that on July 31, Murphy performed an unwanted sex act on him while the man slept in a relative's Jeffersonville home,' according to

But it's okay, because:

"Larry Wilder, Murphy's attorney, said Murphy is cooperating with police and Prosecutor Steve Stewart. Wilder said Murphy contends the sex act was consensual.

"Ah, a classic case of he-said-he-said. The alleged victim claims that Murphy went down on him while he was asleep, and Murphy claims it was consensual.

"Funny story though...

"In 1998, a 21-year-old male filed a similar report with Clarksville police claiming Murphy attempted to perform a sex act on him while he was sleeping. Charges were never filed in that case.

"What a coincidence!

"But you never know. Maybe Murphy was simply confused. Maybe he heard those young men snoring and thought they were saying 'Yo Murphy, what's a guy gotta do to get a blowjob off the president of the Young Republicans around here?'"

* The Stones' Sympahty for the Devil was inspiried by Mikhail Bulgakov's novel The Master and Margarita.

* Congrats to Leafy Green and Stereogab, who were married over the weekend.

* "Education should be exercise; it has become massage" -- Martin H. Fischer


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home