April 27, 2006

I am of several minds
I am the worst of my kind



'64 Chrysler , 1971, by Robert Bechtle

* The Rude Pundit on new Bush spokesperson Tony Snow. excerpt:

"Motherfucker, you are hardcore. The Rude Pundit bets that in the locker room at Fox 'News,'" when you creep in to listen to Hume, Hannity, and O'Reilly talk about how nutzoid right wing they're gonna be that day, you figure out how to go even nuttier. You're like the craziest hooker at the whorehouse, the one who knows she's not the prettiest, not the tightest pussy, but she wants to be the most popular whore there so she decides she's the one who'll do any fuckin' kind of fucking that people ask. Someone wants the snowball, hot Karl, dirty Sanchez, felching mudslide, golden showers, and/or pukey Jack, you are the go-to girl. You may go back to your room every morning covered in cum, shit, piss, blood, and/or Crisco, but no other piece of ass is gonna out-fuck you.

"In one fuckin' column, you called removing the feeding tube from a comatose girl 'capital punishment,' used a fraudulent researcher as a way of discrediting embryonic stem cell research, and paid tribute to the 'March for Life' in D.C. Shit, man, toss in your great big Christmas 'Tony loves the Jesusbaby' column, and, dude, the base just got itself a little hors d'oeuvre to keep its tummy quiet until the midterms.

"And the worst part of it all, Tony, is that when you were at Fox 'News,' you got paid by your pimps for the quality of your rim jobs. Now, the Rude Pundit's helping to pay your fuckin' salary, as is every tax-shoveling American. Yup, we're paying you to abuse the press, lie to us, and pretend you have the interests of more than one man at heart. Just like back at the old job."

* 120 Questions for George Saunders. [via] excerpt:

"7. What book do you wish you could live in?

'The Big Book of People Praising George, Seeing Only the Best In Him, and Overpaying Him, and Overpaying Him On Time For Once.' The hardcover. The one that shows me grinning from ear to ear.

"8. What movie do you wish you could live in?

"The film adaptation of 'The Big Book of People Praising George, Seeing Only the Best In Him, and Overpaying Him, and Overpaying Him On Time For Once,' the title of which Hollywood has changed to 'Savage Desperate Lust Vendetta Handjob'
...
"19. What's your favorite way to blow money?

"No questions about my sex life. I told you that in the 'pre-questioning.'

"20. Which living writer most influences you?

"I would have to say I've been most influenced by myself. Which is too bad, because basically I think I suck. But what can I do? When young, I didn't think I sucked, and during that time, that critical time when my asthetic opinions were being formed, I was quite enamored of myself, and therefore kind of imprinted my view of the world on myself. So now I find that, no matter what I do, I am always eitherimitating myself or (perhaps worse) contra-imitating myself, ie, acting in such a way as to distance myself from myself. In other words, I am always operating under my own influence. Or, like, operating under the influence of myself. What I mean is, I can embrace myself, I can reject myself, but ultimately, what am I reacting to? That's right. Myself. But enough about me."

* The Prague Post on the Plastic People of the Universe. excerpt:

"From the perspective of the modern Western world, it's hard to grasp that in 1976, when members of the Plastic People of the Universe were doing hard time for 'vulgarity,' it had been 10 years since Lenny Bruce, free on bail and awaiting appeal, did his final performance, opening for Frank Zappa. Indeed, by that time, Zappa and bands like the Sex Pistols had far outpaced Bruce and the Plastic People, and were freely taking their outré acts on the road.

"But there the comparisons end. While performers in the West got in legal skirmishes, artists like the Plastic People and their fans were subject to arrests, brutal interrogations, house burnings, beatings and forced exile."

"Today the reconstituted Plastic People are going strong, both on the performing circuit and in the studio. On Saturday, the band has a CD launch at Vagon for Za?ni U Stromu, a new release by saxophone and clarinet player Vratislav Brabenec and guitarist Joe Karafiát. Over lunch during a rehearsal break, band members agree to talk about their turbulent history — sort of.

"'I don't like talking about politics,' bassist/vocalist Eva Turnová says as soon as the tape recorder is switched on. Her statement seems to ring true for the rest of the group as well. For the past 15 minutes, the conversation has moved from Brabenec talking about a pig farmer telepathically translating James Joyce's Ulysses to keyboardist Josef Janí?ek professing his love for Celtic music, while violinist Ji?í Kabeš nods approval."

* Last words of Joan Crawford, who died May 10, 1977: "Damn it . . . Don't you dare ask God to help me." To her housekeeper, who had begun to pray aloud.

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