If I could be anything in the world that flew
I would be a bat and come swooping after you


van and dots, sara padgett

* Top ten conservative idiots. excerpt:

"8. Roy Moore

"Our final set of paranoid ramblings this week comes courtesy of perennial conservative idiot Roy Moore. You may remember Moore from such works as What's Wrong With Legislating From The Bench?, The Separation of Church And State Can Kiss My Butt, and, Oh No! I've Been Fired. (See Idiots passim.) Moore is currently running for governor in Alabama and part of his platform includes opposition to an animal-tracking system which would help identify potential cases of BSE, otherwise known as Mad Cow Disease. Yes, you read that right - he's opposed to it. So of course the recent discovery of a BSE-infected cow in Alabama has Moore reaching for his tinfoil hat.

"'It's a strange coincidence that we have a case of mad cow disease at the same time the Senate is debating this bill,' Moore said last week.

"Oh come on Roy, isn't it obvious? Hillary Clinton flew it down there in her black helicopter just to freak you out."

* Food pyramid for drinks. excerpt:

Food isn't the only culprit in America's battle with the bulge. Nutrition experts say at least a fifth of the calories we consume come from what we drink.

Now a panel of top nutrition scientists has created a beverage guide in hopes Americans will start counting the calories in their cups!

Today, a cup of coffee isn't complete without a shot of something sweet and a creamy top.. "I get two or three refill." Add a soft drink or a fruit juice and pretty soon you've consumed a meal's worth of calories - without even feeling full!

Barry Popkin Ph.D., Nutrition Researcher: "We're getting heavier and heavier and more and more unhealthy, we have to be concerned about these calories from beverages." That caloric concern inspired nutrition scientist Barry Popkin to spearhead a panel that has created a beverage guide for consumers - think of it as the food pyramid for drinks.

Barry Popkin Ph.D., Nutrition Researcher: "The core beverage we need for life for health? It's water." Along with four to six 8 ounce serving of water - the guide recommends up to 8 cups of unsweetened tea and up to four cups of coffee.

"No sugar. No milk - nothing." Artificial sweeteners are okay. And up to four servings of diet drinks and two of skim or lowfat milk.

"I like the natural juice." But juices are packed with sugar - only one serving is recommended. Ditto For soft drinks and other sugary beverages Popkin says are like the candy of the food chain - only worse.

* ". . . if you look at walls covered with many stains . . . with the idea of imagining some scene, you will see in it a similarity to landscapes adorned with mountains, rivers, rocks, tree, plains, broad vallerys, and hills of all kinds. You may also see in it battles and figures with lively gestures and strange faces and costumes and an infinity of things which you can reduce to separate and complex forms. And with these walls . . . it is as with the sound of bells; in their ringing you may find all the sounds and words that you wish to imagine." - Leonardo da Vinci, 1492

* In DC? The Caribbean play DC9 tonight. check them out. with Pagoda.