June 27, 2005

still dreaming of that perfect home by the sun

* Top ten conservative idiots. excerpt:

8. Red State Chickenhawks

"Anyone else sick of being told by Bush voters that people who don't support the war are helping the terrorists? Anyone else sick of brave Republican warmongers finding all kinds of reasons not to join the military, despite the growing recruitment crisis? You may be interested to know that a breakdown of the Iraq war dead shows that more come from states that voted for John Kerry. In general, the bluer the state, the more dead soldiers. Check out these maps:

"Now with the ol' Red vs. Blue map superimposed:

"For some reason I expected to see more of the staunch Bush-voting 'heartland' Republicans out west doing their bit for the cause..."

* Clusterfuck nation. excerpt:

"The east coast is a steambath, the Dow Jones is tanking, oil has crossed the $60 barrier, and Don Rumsfeld says the Iraq insurgency could run for twelve years.

"Taking these things in reverse order -- why twelve years? Why not forever? Actually, twelve years might as well be forever. What Rummy seems to be saying to the US public is: better be prepared to keep Fort Apache going indefinitely. The part he left out was. . . 'if you want to keep making that eighty-mile round trip commute from Cherokee County to Peachtree Street.'
"The stock market contraction ought to reflect this reality -- apart from desperate attempts by US government proxies to levitate share prices -- and it is hard to imagine a rally in the face of $60 oil. I'm inclined to predict a gruesome journey down for the Dow Jones into the 4000 range by the end of the year. Until now the dollars created by the Federal Reserve's supernaturally loose credit policy have sought shelter in the 'hard assets' of houses? A meltdown of the stock markets will translate into vanishing leverage in all other areas of finance, especially in real estate (as well as a swath of destruction through hedge funds, retirement accounts and, eventually, the entire creaking superstructure of the hallucinated mortgage industry). A few Americans are actually going to get the message that this is not a good time to buy an overpriced raised ranch house. A lot of real estate geniuses are going witness their own ruin with wonder and nausea."

* Top ten unbreakable sports records. excerpt:

"Number 4.
John Wooden's 88 straight wins

"Another relic of a bygone era, this record harkens back to when college players stuck around for four years and turned their programs into dynasties. Under the tutelage of the Wizard of Westwood and with Bill Walton leading the way, the UCLA Bruins won 88 straight games -- between two losses to Notre Dame on January 23, 1971 and January 19, 1974 -- a span that included three of the record seven straight NCAA championships won by UCLA from 1967 to 1973.

"To get an idea of just how hard these feats are to replicate, reflect on the fact that no team has gone undefeated for even a single season since 1976, and no other school has ever won more than two straight titles."


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