October 6, 2004

Ain't it fun when you're always on the run

* Wolcott. excerpt:

"In the closing statement of the vice presidential debate, Dick Cheney unveiled the terrifying prospect of terrorists smuggling nuclear weapons into major American cities inside Meals on Wheels wagons. This struck me as a dubious ploy to justify Cheney's vote decades earlier against providing sustenance to seniors and the infirm, but it was enough to satisfy Chris Matthews on MSNBC to the edge of wetness. Matthews, hopped up on Cheetos and Nehi orange, crowned Cheney the victor in the debate and within ten seconds of his fight-night wrapup was tossing out conspiracy theories as to why the liberal press would be too chicken to acknowledge that Cheney had crushed his opponent. The MSNBC panelists were as giddy as Matthews, Joe Scarborough claiming Edwards had been obliterated, Andrea Mitchell all aglow at this demonstration of raw authority, and so many references to 'the stature gap' that it was as if they were trying out a new catchphrase. But Matthews' record on catchphrases isn't the most stellar. After the Kerry Bush debate, he excitedly said that 'mixed messages' would be the 'fuzzy math' of this campaign, a bullseye painted on Kerry's back. Only Matthews could get that worked up about something that mundane."
"Cheney did look tired. Waxy. Crabby. Hunkered-down. Not to mention downright mean. (As when he didn't return Edwards' thank-you in the closing statement with a thank-you of his own, an act of old-fart pettiness from the veep.) But I don't believe Cheney is fatigued from the epic strain of keeping all of his lies straight as he schemes in darkness to consolidate power and undo the Republic. I think he fell into The Costanza Trap."
"Like Bush last week, Cheney only fed the beast of the Republican 'base.' He did nothing, less than nothing, to reach out to undecideds or swing voters or anyone who wasn't already committed to the ticket. Edwards did. That's why, despite some moments of shakiness and repetition and phony tough-guyism, Edwards won."

* Didn't take long: you forgot poland dot com.

* How many members of the Bush administration does it take to change a light bulb?

None. There's nothing wrong with that light bulb. It has served us honorably. When you say it's burned out, you're giving encouragement to the forces of darkness. Once we install a light bulb, we never, ever change it. Real men don't need artificial light. [via Jesus' General]


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