November 10, 2003

Scales of silver mirror mesmerize

Dong Resin interviews the Patriot Act:

DR: Well, interesting you bring that up... the definition of "terrorist" is getting a lot more broad... I see you now define even small time drug possession as "narco-terrorism." You really think people are buying into that?

PA: Are buying?! Sold, Bwanna! That ship is a just a dot on the horizon. Once again, it's about fear, okay? People don't reason out their fears, they have lives to lead. Drugs are scary if you have children, and the people who vote have children. I'm not about civility, dong, I'm about popularity.

DR: Well, drugs are a pretty corrosive influence, right? I mean it's not an irrational fear-

PA: Ha! The threat of recreational drugs is not about the addiction, that's just a simple health issue, illegal drugs a larger threat; a breakdown of control. When you're the kid escaping the control, it's fun, but not so fun where you're the parent, so, drugs make a one fucking neato boogyman. Very dependable.

DR: Heh. You sound like a countercultre conspiracy theorist, now.

PA: Yeah, well, the truth is that we're not so far removed, the tinfoil hat gang and I, we're two passing cars on the same road; they're morbidly toying with fear as an explanation of their problems, I'm using it to provide easy answers.

DR: Right.

PA: See, parents, the majority of people who vote, understand only two things: fear, and how what scares them applies to their kids. Hell, it's a survival mechanism. So, you can marvel all you like at the willful handing over of civil liberties, but parents will always outnumber you useless self-centered single dweebs at ye olde voting boothe, and they'll always make the decisions based on the concept of security, not liberty. Freedom is scary, dong.

DR: That's real depressing, P.A.

PA: Well, you libertarians all seem to think there's this great parallel universe where things are as they should be, and if only you could get the right sort of government in power, you could live that way. That's just silly. People are all the same: once you have kids, you're all conservatives. God, Government and Mandatory Seatbelts. Let the fear do the thinking.

DR: Great. Now I'm very depressed.

PA: Well, cheer up. I love your site.


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