September 23, 2003

sometimes we freak and laugh all day

i'm sitting on the edge of the stage at Pukkelpop. Big Black is 10 feet from me and the crowd is, in part, in a manic belgian circle dance right now. the sound is good. we're on next. it's the last show of the tour. my body feels vague and fragile. i'm not high in any way; my heart is a fragile vessal right now. we'll get up to play in a short while and rock out. the crowd wants us lost, they want to see us flail and writhe, act out thier own aggressions. as i said i'm straight now and glad, and that makes it a harder thing to get lost in the music and really forget, go wild. but i want to get lost today on stage, comeout and play and feel the blood flow through my veins, cease the pounding needle pains in my head which have been a plague of late. the electricity should heal me and burn out the sys-fog i've been experiencing. peace frog. big black a muscle of squeal-attack and fast gliding electric waves. we're up next.

the more i feel healthy, the more weak i feel. the more i feel sick, the more i feel better. we're up next and i'm straight ahead cold standin' on the turf. time to get lost.

lee ranaldo
21 July 1987

from jrnls80s


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