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Can you tell me a story about yourself now?
I want to talk about what's going on in the world right now. The war with Iraq. There's conflict in Israel, India, Korea, the Ivory Coast. The government controls what we see and read. I mean, they killed Martin Luther King, John Lennon, Gandhi, Malcolm X. They are growing asparagus in space. What else are they doing? And what is Scientology? Are they creating another planet for the wealthy to live on when nuclear war happens? You know what I mean?

Um...
And in this town in Africa, from this article I'm reading, they're saying that vampires are wearing very black clothes, dropping from the sky and taking hypodermic needles and sucking blood from villagers and flying back up into the air. Sounds like military combat.

You're freaking me out. Can you lighten the mood with a joke?
I actually wanted to be a comedian! Do you know the one about the journalist who always says no?

No.

(via timothompson)